Anniversaries
My Dearest Love,
You were always so much better about remembering anniversaries than I. Do you remember going on about the anniversary of the first time you saw me? And the anniversary of the first time we met? And our first date? I could never keep track of them all.
I remembered this one though. Friday was the day that marked the six-month anniversary since you left.
Seems like yesterday and a million years all at the same time.
We have covered a lot of ground in that time. I was certifiably crazy for the first three months. It was hard for us all. The kids make light of it when I ask them saying that nothing was really different, but I know better. I was a basket case and not very easy to live with. Things started to get better around the three month mark. I began to function again. It was a slow process and one that was hard to measure. I look back now and see a broken road, crooked and potholed. Not a journey I want to make again.
You would be proud of your children. They are hanging in there and doing a good job. They are doing well in school and keeping up with their chores at home. There are moments of course, like last night when your daughter came home from work with a little postcard that a co-worker left in her tip folder inviting me to a "christian" pot luck gathering that occurs on Friday nights. Apparently your daughter conveyed to her co-worker that her father was sitting around too much (along the lines of "Sleepless in Seattle" I am guessing and said co-worker let it slip that there was a gorgeous fifty-six year old widow that is part of this group.
So now, it is Kate's mission to "fix me up" with this group. Bless her little scheming heart, but no thank you very much. I'll get myself into trouble if it is all the same to you. I know that our daughter has only my best interests at heart, but I cannot conceive of what a situation would be like.
As for other matters that I have written about recently, all is quiet. No contact from your sisters. The upcoming holiday does present a bit of a conundrum however. What to do about the traditional family gathering and exchange of gifts. I did send our contribution for the annual "children's fund" but I am not sure what to do about the adults. This was always your bailiwick and I would happily pass it off to you once more.
To be truthful, I feel no compulsion to give gifts to your family members. The ones I once counted as true friends are out for my blood and the rest I would see only at gatherings that were quite frankly, quite boring and forgetful. I went only for you, you see. So, now what to do? Should I be the total bore your sisters picture me as and tell them all to take a flying fuck, or should I be "politic" and find some "meaningful" gift to give each branch of the family?
I don't know, but I am running out of time. You are free of it all now and I hope you are making the most of it. Where ever you are, have fun and send cards.
With all my love,
P.
You were always so much better about remembering anniversaries than I. Do you remember going on about the anniversary of the first time you saw me? And the anniversary of the first time we met? And our first date? I could never keep track of them all.
I remembered this one though. Friday was the day that marked the six-month anniversary since you left.
Seems like yesterday and a million years all at the same time.
We have covered a lot of ground in that time. I was certifiably crazy for the first three months. It was hard for us all. The kids make light of it when I ask them saying that nothing was really different, but I know better. I was a basket case and not very easy to live with. Things started to get better around the three month mark. I began to function again. It was a slow process and one that was hard to measure. I look back now and see a broken road, crooked and potholed. Not a journey I want to make again.
You would be proud of your children. They are hanging in there and doing a good job. They are doing well in school and keeping up with their chores at home. There are moments of course, like last night when your daughter came home from work with a little postcard that a co-worker left in her tip folder inviting me to a "christian" pot luck gathering that occurs on Friday nights. Apparently your daughter conveyed to her co-worker that her father was sitting around too much (along the lines of "Sleepless in Seattle" I am guessing and said co-worker let it slip that there was a gorgeous fifty-six year old widow that is part of this group.
So now, it is Kate's mission to "fix me up" with this group. Bless her little scheming heart, but no thank you very much. I'll get myself into trouble if it is all the same to you. I know that our daughter has only my best interests at heart, but I cannot conceive of what a situation would be like.
As for other matters that I have written about recently, all is quiet. No contact from your sisters. The upcoming holiday does present a bit of a conundrum however. What to do about the traditional family gathering and exchange of gifts. I did send our contribution for the annual "children's fund" but I am not sure what to do about the adults. This was always your bailiwick and I would happily pass it off to you once more.
To be truthful, I feel no compulsion to give gifts to your family members. The ones I once counted as true friends are out for my blood and the rest I would see only at gatherings that were quite frankly, quite boring and forgetful. I went only for you, you see. So, now what to do? Should I be the total bore your sisters picture me as and tell them all to take a flying fuck, or should I be "politic" and find some "meaningful" gift to give each branch of the family?
I don't know, but I am running out of time. You are free of it all now and I hope you are making the most of it. Where ever you are, have fun and send cards.
With all my love,
P.
Copyright ©2003-2007 Phaedrous
posted by Phaedrous at 11:14 AM
1 Comments:
Knowing how much time you feel you want to spend with others and how much time you want to have to yourself can be invaluable in making plans for the holidays. Make plans which will give you the balance between private and social time that feels right. If possible, choose to be with those who are best able to support you at this time in your life. Realistic self expectations will go a long way in freeing you from an unnecessary sense of having failed to please those around you. Just as there is no one way to experience loss there is no one way to find one's way through the holidays. Do what feels right to you and yours....I myself just tried to think of it as another day... another wake up and got through it just as I tried any other new,, quiet day.
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