Wednesday, August 16, 2006

20th Wedding Anniversary

My Dearest Love,

Today is our twentieth. I know that you were hoping to be here to help me celebrate, but that was not to be. I don't know how much celebrating I will do anyway. Maybe a glass of champaigne tonight, though it will be a hollow event without you.

Twenty years ago on a beach with Lake Superior as the backdrop. What a perfect day it was. The weather here looks nice today. Sunny and not too hot. My plan is to spend my time today doing things that I know would please you.

There is the front garden to weed and there are a bunch of volunteers poking up through the hedges. I figure maybe the kitchen will get a good clean as well.

There is an insurance inspector coming over to go over the house this afternoon. I was trying to keep the entire day free, but you know how schedules get. I also have some medical bill issues to try to sort out.

Today is going to be very emotional for me. I tend to get leaky without much provocation. Joe asked if I would like him to fix me an anniversary dinner like he did last year. I told him that I thought that would be "too much" for my poor heart to handle. I'll barbeque some chicken instead.

Your sisters and Pam keep voluteering to come over and help go through your things, but I am not ready for that. I am still clinging to the parts of you that are left and do not want them taken away just yet. I can't deal with the emptyness. That time will come, but not right now.

Will you sit down and talk to me at the dinner table like in "The Sixth Sense?" I have not felt your presence in any way so far, and to be truthful, don't believe in that stuff anyway. Where ever you are, please know that I miss you and love you. You will be especially in my thoughts today.




Blogger Queen of Ass said...

Beautiful, Sugar. So beautiful. Happy belated anniversary.

3:28 PM  
Blogger barefoot_mistress said...

I found your blog through Lime...
may I just say that I wish you peace and that your heart remain open as it seems to be, and that this journey becomes easier.

10:37 AM  

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