Birthday Thoughts

My Dearest Love,

You were born into a new existence one year ago today. You have been much on my mind of late. Of course, not a day goes by where I don't think of you, memories tripped by something I see, or taste, or smell. But we are animals that think in cycles and ceremonies and so we make something of this day, this anniversary of transmission, your birth into a new form, however invisible to us here in this world of clay.

It is cool and overcast as I write this. Your best friend P came down last night from up north to share this day with us. Your children elected to go off to school, and after it is a track meet for your daughter (where she will receive an award for her performance of two days ago) and a dance for your son where he will no doubt receive a few rewards of his own.

Many of your friends and family have called or written to let us know that they are thinking of us and of you on this day. Some of those messages expressed concern for our well-being on this day and I have done my best to reassure them that we are in no danger - in fact, we are doing quite well. And, I believe that to be true. This last year has been a strange journey to be sure with some very dark places where the wild things were. But we have come through those places and the ground feels firm once again. You made some pretty good kids, you know.

I tried to think of something appropriate to do today that would honor you and, should you be watching, give you some pleasure. Therefore, P and I went shopping today for new sheets and blanket for the guest bedroom. I must confess however, that I did not look for sales before setting out. As is my nature, I went to one place, picked out something that looked servicable, and bought it. P was along to oversee and make sure I didn't make a hash of it.

So now the sheets are in the dryer and I will make up the bed with new linen and blanket (cotton for you, of course) as soon as is practical. Your son made P sleep out on the screen porch with him last night and may do the same again, so she might not get to test the sheets out until her next trip down.

She and I also went through your jewelery drawer and laid everything out on the dining room table. What a pack rat you were. For someone who was always criticizing my family for our inability to let go of things, you left a surprising amount of stuff behind yourself. I want your children to look these things over and take what they wish before I invite your sisters in.

So, my love, that's an update from here. Life goes on in it's up and down way. We miss you dearly and think of you often. Love to you wherever you are.

D.