Babel

My Dearest Love,

I just watched "Babel," a movie that I think you would have liked even though there were many sad parts. In the end, one of the major threads was about how we love our children. I have to admit that I am a little drunk as I write this and a little leaky around the eyes. I had to hug both of our children good night. I wanted them to know how much I love them even though I don't know how to really tell them.

Tonight I miss you a bunch. Sometimes I feel adrift without you. I am doing OK overall, I think. I think I have the money thing figured out. I get the bills paid. I am taking the kids to Europe for three weeks this summer. I think that I am insane when I sit down and try to do some of the planning for that. This is what you were so good at. I wish you were here now to help. Although, you always got too wrapped up in it and worked yourself into a frenzy by the time we left so that you were always getting sick and on the verge of collapse upon leaving. What kind of way is that to start a vacation.

I have the passports. I have the plane tickets to Amsterdam and back (oh, get this. K said, when I told her we would have to spend a day in Amsterdam, "Great, we can hit a few coffee-shops."). I have a couple of tickets on some cheap airlines with addresses in Eastern Europe to Budapest and back. That will be an adventure. I have a hotel reserved in Szeged - who knows?

Then there are two weeks that aren't planned. Better make sure I have both credit cards. I hope that you are watching over us when we get to Paris. That was always more your city than mine. If I had my druthers, I'd just rent a canal boat for a week and float along doing sweet fuck all. Send the kids into the nearest village for wine and cheese whenever we ran out. But, that doesn't do it for the teenagers. They want big cities and clubbing. I'm going to be a wreck by the time we get home. Be our guardian angel won't you?

PS I finally took your toothbrush out of the holder and pitched it. With love.