Stages
My Dearest Love,
It has been twenty-three months since you left on your mysterious voyage. We miss your presence greatly - me especially as I am embarking on a path in life that calls out for your wisdom and expertise. I am learning in my halting way, but I will never be as adept as you in these areas.
Sometimes I think you sit above me watching and yelling at me and throwing ghost fruit when I do something particularly bone-headed. Since I can't hear you, I wear an imaginary bracelet that says "WWCD" just like those cheesy ones you see everywhere announcing someone's pledge to support a cause or declare a religious stance. But mine is invisible so it is only I who know that I ask myself what would you do.
I asked myself that late last night. I was in one of those parental hot spots where a mistake could have unforeseen consequences that would ripple forward in time. I needed you last night.
Two days ago, our daughter injured herself when she made a bad landing on a practice vault. She came home on crutches, unable to put weight on her right knee. Yesterday, she stayed home from school after fainting in the shower. Fortunately, no further damage was done in that incident, but later I took her to the doctor who then sent us on for an MRI. The results were as bleak as the weather - gray, sodden, and forlorn.
She tore her ACL completely apart. She partially tore her meniscus. She also seriously strained her medial collateral ligament. She will require surgery and a long recovery time that will cap her senior year in high school. When I gave her the news outside the MRI place she just crumpled and cried while I held her in the rain. She hurt in every way possible. Her track season is over.
Yesterday afternoon was pretty sad. I did what I could to raise her spirits, but visions of being wheeled across the stage for graduation and sitting on the sidelines in her prom dress while every one else marches in the Grand Parade just drained the spirit out of her. She spent most of that time in bed, alone in her misery.
I made her get up for dinner which turned out pretty well. She announced that her boyfriend, her prom date, was coming over after dinner. Because of the events of the last few days (me needing to drive her car on Thursday due to the incontinence of the White Whale and then the pole vaulting injury) he was thwarted in all of his intricate plans to deliver his prom invitation to K. Therefore, he was coming over and doing the old fashioned way - face to face.
He came bearing gifts. There were the balloons, flowers, and a rubber chicken that shot an egg out of its bottom when you squeezed it. That was a little obscene if you ask me.
I graciously retired to my bedroom so that they could talk in private. And talk they did. About the time I was ready to lock up the house and go to bed, I found them in her room on the lower level. They were both lying down on her bed. I suggested that it was time to go now and left. Kate hobbled out after me to plead for an extension.
She said that he didn't have to get back home until 1 AM on weekend nights and couldn't he please just stay a while. I told her that I didn't feel comfortable with both of them laying in bed together. She looked at me with one of those "what? you don't trust me?" expressions and then told me that even if they wanted to do something, she was incapable due to her injury.
It had been a bad day for sure and I didn't want to add to it, so I turned away and went back to my room. About midnight I made another foray downstairs. Our son was asleep with his door closed. I turned toward K's room. It was dark, but they were not asleep. I stood there listening to the unmistakable sound of a young woman on her way to an orgasm.
Shit. Now what?
I stood there with all kinds of crazy thoughts running through my head. In the end, I decided to quietly go back up to my bedroom and do my thinking there. Listening in was just too damn weird.
In my room, I tried to logically sort through my options and come to some kind of plan. As I lay there in the dark, I ran through a lot of scenarios - many of them totally insane. At 1 AM, I heard K clomping through the upper level on her crutches, turning out lights as she went. I was still struggling with my conundrum and listening to the rain when sleep over took me.
This morning, I resumed my pondering. I decided that number one, K is now of legal age and needs to make her own decisions. Number two, she has a prescription for birth control pills with my approval. Number three, if she is going to take a lover, I would rather have them here, safe, than sneaking away for a quicky in the back seat of a car or a slimy motel. Number four, it is me who is uncomfortable with this. K, when she rose this morning was happy and chipper. I have to deal with this discomfort because it is mine.
And on that "happy" note, K informed me that the swelling in her knee had gone down significantly overnight and she had a greater range of motion in her limb and could even put weight on it without pain. This change gave her hope and let her think that it may be possible to walk on her own steam on graduation night and to walk in the prom's Grand March even if she could not dance.
So today, we have a brand new girl (or should I say woman?). As for me, I am still wondering if I made the right decisions last night. I wished you were there to help. Oh well, it's done now. Maybe you were there all along.
It has been twenty-three months since you left on your mysterious voyage. We miss your presence greatly - me especially as I am embarking on a path in life that calls out for your wisdom and expertise. I am learning in my halting way, but I will never be as adept as you in these areas.
Sometimes I think you sit above me watching and yelling at me and throwing ghost fruit when I do something particularly bone-headed. Since I can't hear you, I wear an imaginary bracelet that says "WWCD" just like those cheesy ones you see everywhere announcing someone's pledge to support a cause or declare a religious stance. But mine is invisible so it is only I who know that I ask myself what would you do.
I asked myself that late last night. I was in one of those parental hot spots where a mistake could have unforeseen consequences that would ripple forward in time. I needed you last night.
Two days ago, our daughter injured herself when she made a bad landing on a practice vault. She came home on crutches, unable to put weight on her right knee. Yesterday, she stayed home from school after fainting in the shower. Fortunately, no further damage was done in that incident, but later I took her to the doctor who then sent us on for an MRI. The results were as bleak as the weather - gray, sodden, and forlorn.
She tore her ACL completely apart. She partially tore her meniscus. She also seriously strained her medial collateral ligament. She will require surgery and a long recovery time that will cap her senior year in high school. When I gave her the news outside the MRI place she just crumpled and cried while I held her in the rain. She hurt in every way possible. Her track season is over.
Yesterday afternoon was pretty sad. I did what I could to raise her spirits, but visions of being wheeled across the stage for graduation and sitting on the sidelines in her prom dress while every one else marches in the Grand Parade just drained the spirit out of her. She spent most of that time in bed, alone in her misery.
I made her get up for dinner which turned out pretty well. She announced that her boyfriend, her prom date, was coming over after dinner. Because of the events of the last few days (me needing to drive her car on Thursday due to the incontinence of the White Whale and then the pole vaulting injury) he was thwarted in all of his intricate plans to deliver his prom invitation to K. Therefore, he was coming over and doing the old fashioned way - face to face.
He came bearing gifts. There were the balloons, flowers, and a rubber chicken that shot an egg out of its bottom when you squeezed it. That was a little obscene if you ask me.
I graciously retired to my bedroom so that they could talk in private. And talk they did. About the time I was ready to lock up the house and go to bed, I found them in her room on the lower level. They were both lying down on her bed. I suggested that it was time to go now and left. Kate hobbled out after me to plead for an extension.
She said that he didn't have to get back home until 1 AM on weekend nights and couldn't he please just stay a while. I told her that I didn't feel comfortable with both of them laying in bed together. She looked at me with one of those "what? you don't trust me?" expressions and then told me that even if they wanted to do something, she was incapable due to her injury.
It had been a bad day for sure and I didn't want to add to it, so I turned away and went back to my room. About midnight I made another foray downstairs. Our son was asleep with his door closed. I turned toward K's room. It was dark, but they were not asleep. I stood there listening to the unmistakable sound of a young woman on her way to an orgasm.
Shit. Now what?
I stood there with all kinds of crazy thoughts running through my head. In the end, I decided to quietly go back up to my bedroom and do my thinking there. Listening in was just too damn weird.
In my room, I tried to logically sort through my options and come to some kind of plan. As I lay there in the dark, I ran through a lot of scenarios - many of them totally insane. At 1 AM, I heard K clomping through the upper level on her crutches, turning out lights as she went. I was still struggling with my conundrum and listening to the rain when sleep over took me.
This morning, I resumed my pondering. I decided that number one, K is now of legal age and needs to make her own decisions. Number two, she has a prescription for birth control pills with my approval. Number three, if she is going to take a lover, I would rather have them here, safe, than sneaking away for a quicky in the back seat of a car or a slimy motel. Number four, it is me who is uncomfortable with this. K, when she rose this morning was happy and chipper. I have to deal with this discomfort because it is mine.
And on that "happy" note, K informed me that the swelling in her knee had gone down significantly overnight and she had a greater range of motion in her limb and could even put weight on it without pain. This change gave her hope and let her think that it may be possible to walk on her own steam on graduation night and to walk in the prom's Grand March even if she could not dance.
So today, we have a brand new girl (or should I say woman?). As for me, I am still wondering if I made the right decisions last night. I wished you were there to help. Oh well, it's done now. Maybe you were there all along.
Copyright ©2003-2007 Phaedrous
posted by Phaedrous at 2:13 PM
2 Comments:
Oh P~~ Such a tough call but here are my thoughts~ such as they are.
You are right if she is of age and is a smart girl..It was best for you not to make a scene but!
I would have a talk with her about what you expect the house "rules" to be. If you are uncomfortable with her getting loving in your house... just say so- ask her to respect those wishes as you are family and that's what makes family work. You know.. they MAY had just been petting their way to a bit of ecstasy>>
I love the idea of "ghost fruit."
As for the other...goodness, that must've been surprising and difficult for a father to hear. I think walking away was the right thing at the time. I'm not a parent, and I could be full of shit. But I guess the part that would bother me was the hurt puppy dog look, and the "my knee would make anything impossible" bit. You had a concern, she dismissed it and then when you walked away, trying to display that trust and give her room to make a good decision on her own, they did exactly what you were concerned about. I guess if she's adult enough to have that kind of relationship, and confident enough to do so under the family roof, then she probably should've addressed it with you in a way that would build the trust she craves. Good luck.
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